No, Rob. The beard must go.

Look, I’ll admit to being one of the – oh, half a billion – females on the planet that think that Robert Pattinson can be bloody sexy if he wants to be. (And when he’s not in Twilight. I’m sorry, he’s just too pale – and that’s a lot coming from me, seeing as I prefer pale guys.)

But the beard has come back – after about a year of being relatively fuzz-free, it looks like Rob’s been popping fertilisers in his spare time. In a tweet this evening I described him as a “wannabe-wookie” or a “drunken lumberjack”. (Pics taken on 21 October at LAX).

He looks like something out of Star Wars. The Prequels. Tell me I’m wrong.

Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”

The music world has been talking about this for months – from the moment she first belted out a few lyrics at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards to her “New Year’s announcement on Twitter”… Let’s be honest, nobody knows how to hype up her fanbase like Lady Gaga.

And now it’s finally here – the first single off her highly, highly anticipated album of the same name. It’s Born This Way.

Listen to it below, then I’ll have my ten cents.

The danger of over-hyping a song is obvious. When it drops, it’s going to be scrutinised to the absolute last. And it’s happened here with Gaga. Born This Way will undoubtedly be one of the big club anthems of 2011 – but real-life music critics (a) Not the drunken crowd at a bar at 3am or b) myself) are divided.

On first listen, it seemed a little average to me – well, average for Gaga but miles and miles above the over-produced Britney single Hold It Against Me – but on a second listen, the song clicked. Yes, it could come across as a little preachy but my god, is she sincere about what she’s singing. She truly writes from the heart, and even though they may get lost in the thumping dance beats, the lyrics are hands-down the strong point of the single.

And of course, the inevitable Madonna comparisons. It draws inspiration from the spoken-word segments of Vogue, sounds very much like Express Yourself and even has a bit of a Like a Prayer mixed in at times. And in an artist who is constantly trying to outdo the crowd and prove she’s wildly original, it seems to be a bit of a slip. Gaga and her team definitely knew what they were doing – Gaga repeatedly refers to Madonna as one of her icons, and she’s no idiot – she would have seen the similarities. So no, I don’t think it’s a “rip off”, no matter how much the Twitter-sphere got their panties in a bunch. It’s a tribute in the purest form, and entrenches Gaga as the Madonna of this generation.

And now I’m dying to see the actual video – because I reckon we’re going to be blown out of the water.