Crystal vs. Hefner – It gets messier

Wow, everybody loves a messy break-up.

Okay, sure – not the people involved – but when a 25-year-old blonde poppie leaves Hugh Hefner at the altar, well… What’s not to love?

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris.

Said Barbie doll has, of course, tried her damnedest to squeak out every last bit of fame she could from this split – and just as people were starting to tire of the drama, well, then there was the now-famous Howard Stern interview.

In the interview, Crystal Harris says that she was never “turned on” by Hef (well, there’s a shocker) and in their entire courtship and engagement, she reckons they only had sex once, for “like two seconds” and that she had never seen him naked. She claimed that he preferred to cuddle with his girlfriends and watch movies instead of having any sex.

Well, you know, none of that should be particularly surprising. Seeing as, well, he is an 85-year-old man. And I’m sure he truly would rather just be napping quietly somewhere as opposed to having sex with various arbitrary blonde clones. Let’s be honest, sex is a lot of effort – and I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, of course – but it makes sense that Hef might rather be playing backgammon or something instead of trying out page 83 of the latest edition of Cosmo.

But the Playboy mogul wasn’t going to have any of that, and took to Twitter to slam comments made by the increasingly insane-sounding Ms Harris. “Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn’t have much to do with reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?” People quoted him as tweeting. (The posts were later deleted)

“The sex with Crystal the first night was good enough so that I kept her over two more nights”, he continued.

“Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don’t know why,” he posted.

I got a lot of “Well, who the fuck cares?” comments from readers on this topic. Fair enough, it’s somebody’s sex life. But I’ll tell you who cares… Playboy cares.

See, the Playboy brand still largely rides on Hefner’s legend. He is the ultimate brand ambassador. It’s every guy’s (sometimes secret) desire to be Hefner – in his 80s, with hot blonde girls falling all over themselves to get in there with him. He needs to sell sex. He needs to sell the idea that the Playboy brand is about living life to the fullest – and being able to get what you want, when you want it. He needs to exude youth and exuberance and a joie de vivre. He needs to remain a men’s icon – and not fade into obscurity in a tatty pair of slippers and a flannel bathrobe, content just to – *gasp* – cuddle the girls instead of taking them to bed.

And so, with Crystal insisting that he might not be the sexually vivacious man Playboy needs him to be, he’s had to go on a PR offensive. And with the backing of such a massive company, it seems he’s winning. Seeing as Crystal rapidly backtracked, tweeting, “The Stern interview scared me, he’s harsh. I was unprepared and blurted out things I shouldn’t have said, I’m sorry.”

Seems as though she’s still not taking back her comments. But, with her fame rapidly waning and another season of Girls Next Door to promote, she’s had to remember where her bread is buttered.

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It’s Robert Pattinson on Vanity Fair… With a reptile.

I would love to know the thoughts behind the styling and theme for the latest edition of Vanity Fair. Seriously.

I mean, apart from the entertainment value. The hysterical giggle that burst through my lips when I first saw it.

Sure, there’s the fact that it was taken by superstar photographer Annie Liebovitz. So, therefore, it must by default be awesome.

But it’s Robert Pattinson. Dressed as Crocodile Dundee. With a baby reptile slung over his shoulder all casual-like.

You know you want to see it, so I’m happy to oblige.

Robert Pattinson

Robert Pattinson on the cover of Vanity Fair.

There’s also a really cool interview, where he talks about fame, Kristen Stewart, admiring Charlie Sheen (!) and working on his latest film.

Ah, that post-Oscar glow… Killed by Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen in 'Two and a Half Men'

Whew. What a ride.

Easily the busiest day of my entire year is Oscars day – the morning after the show is broadcast in the United States. This year it involved me sleepwalking into the office at around 5.45am and trying to keep up with all the announcements.

Hardly a very surprising selection of winners – the Academy is nothing if not predictable – and my prediction rate of the major categories (best actor and actress, best supporting actor and actress, best picture and best directing) stands at 100 percent in the two ceremonies I’ve covered for work.

So now that the Oscars have finally glittered away into the distance, we’re left with nothing less than the spectacular insanity of Charlie Sheen.

A colleague of mine sent this gem of an interview from ABC’s Good Morning America. In this clip, Charlie Sheen claims that he is not bipolar, but “bi-winning” and talking about how much drugs he took (“I was banging seven-gram rocks”) and how he won’t die (“Dying’s for fools”). Full clip after the jump… Continue reading

What does Justin Bieber know about rape? Or abortion?

Justin Bieber's Rolling Stone cover

Justin Bieber on the cover of Rolling Stone.

You know, I was going to let this go. But I don’t think I can.

What. The. Fuck?

In case you haven’t seen it yet, Justin Bieber gave an interview to Rolling Stone recently in which he expressed opinions on abortion, abortion in the case of rape, sex before marriage, politics, drugs, greed, success, religion and homosexuality.

See Rollingstone.com’s “Tao of Justin Bieber”.

To be fair, it’s not all bad. He has some pretty cool things to say. Not very many, but let’s be fair. On homosexuality, “It’s everyone’s decision to do that. It doesn’t affect me and shouldn’t affect anyone else”. Props.  On his “power”, he says, “I don’t think of myself as powerful. If anything, my fans are powerful. It’s all in their hands. If they don’t buy my albums, I go away.” (I’m restraining myself from making a snarky comment. Be proud.)

But then there are some absolute humdingers. Like his opinions on abortion. And unwanted pregnancies as a result of rape. And this makes me very, very angry – for two different reasons.

Number one was my immediate reaction. What on god’s earth does this 16-year-old kid even understand about abortion. About the debates surrounding abortion. His response is stock-standard. “I really don’t believe in abortion,” he told the interviewer. “It’s like killing a baby.” Okay, that’s fine. I have my beliefs on abortion, you have yours. But he carried on to put his foot in it when he was asked by the interviewer if abortion after a rape was okay. His answer made my blood boil. Continue reading