Just call him The Sperminator

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You can just call him “The Sperminator”.

Hands down the biggest celebrity gossip story of the week was the surprisingly unsurprising revelation that Arnold Schwarzenegger had fathered a child with his former housekeeper – effectively torpedoing one of the longest-surviving marriages in Hollywood.

Arnie’s illegitimate son, the tabloids took delight in reporting, was born just five days after the birth of his 13-year-old son with Maria Shriver. Amid the scandal, the Governator has announced that all of his planned movie and television work has been put on hold indefinitely – so that means a longer wait for the planned Terminator reboot.  Sorry guys, I know how excited you all were.

“Love children” are, of course, a Hollywood standard – and the tabloids love them*. Who can forget the shock to Gwen Stefani’s marriage after it emerged that her hubby, Gavin Rossdale, had fathered an illegitimate daughter with one of his best friends? Then there’s Liv Tyler, who famously grew up thinking one man was her father, then discovered she was actually the product of a wild fling with Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler. And, of course, that bastion of fatherhood, Michael Lohan. LiLo’s dad has a 13-year-old daughter, born from a fling outside his marriage.

I’d hardly call that list “good company”, but at least Arnie knows he’s not alone. But come now, Arnold, the housekeeper? That’s just passé.

But seriously now, how do you marry somebody as testosterone-fuelled as the Governator and not assume that he’s fucking everything that moves? He caused a mini-scandal in 2003 after it emerged that he’d been “groping” women left, right and centre – and I suppose after 25 years of his wife putting up with his shenanigans, Arnold must have assumed that, you know, she’d get over this one.

Although, a secret son is hardly the same as fondling a hot blonde or two, is it? Good on ya, Maria, for kicking him to the curb. Whether you reconcile with him or not is not my place to say – but hopefully he learns his lesson from this one.

 *As a matter of fact, so do I. When else are you allowed to use the phrase “born on the wrong side of the blanket” and still be cool? I’ve used it three times this week already. Four if you count this, and five or six if you count me telling people how I used such an epic phrase.

Advertisements

What does Justin Bieber know about rape? Or abortion?

Justin Bieber's Rolling Stone cover

Justin Bieber on the cover of Rolling Stone.

You know, I was going to let this go. But I don’t think I can.

What. The. Fuck?

In case you haven’t seen it yet, Justin Bieber gave an interview to Rolling Stone recently in which he expressed opinions on abortion, abortion in the case of rape, sex before marriage, politics, drugs, greed, success, religion and homosexuality.

See Rollingstone.com’s “Tao of Justin Bieber”.

To be fair, it’s not all bad. He has some pretty cool things to say. Not very many, but let’s be fair. On homosexuality, “It’s everyone’s decision to do that. It doesn’t affect me and shouldn’t affect anyone else”. Props.  On his “power”, he says, “I don’t think of myself as powerful. If anything, my fans are powerful. It’s all in their hands. If they don’t buy my albums, I go away.” (I’m restraining myself from making a snarky comment. Be proud.)

But then there are some absolute humdingers. Like his opinions on abortion. And unwanted pregnancies as a result of rape. And this makes me very, very angry – for two different reasons.

Number one was my immediate reaction. What on god’s earth does this 16-year-old kid even understand about abortion. About the debates surrounding abortion. His response is stock-standard. “I really don’t believe in abortion,” he told the interviewer. “It’s like killing a baby.” Okay, that’s fine. I have my beliefs on abortion, you have yours. But he carried on to put his foot in it when he was asked by the interviewer if abortion after a rape was okay. His answer made my blood boil. Continue reading