Black Chandelier

Currently obsessed with this track. J introduced me to it this past weekend and it’s been on a high-rotation this week. Seeing as I’m completely incapable of writing anything profound on this blog at the moment, here’s the official video (love the look and feel) and the acoustic version. You’re welcome. Lyrics below.

Can’t wait for the album – Opposites, which releases 25/28 January.

Drip, drip, drip, drip

I shouldn’t laugh but I know I’m a failure in your eyes
I know it’s daft but I guess that I know it deep inside
It feels like we’re ready to crack these days, you and I
When it’s just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

You left my heart like an abandoned car
Old and worn, ain’t no use at all
But I used to be free

We’re gonna separate ourselves tonight
We’re always running scared but holding knives
But there’s a black chandelier
It’s casting shadows and lies

Drip, drip, drip, drip

I’ll sit in silence for the rest of my life if you’d like
Dressing our wings with industrial gloves made of wire
Feel it penetrating the skin, we begin to relax
When it’s just the two of us, and a cute little cup of cyanide

You left my heart like an abandoned car
Old and worn, ain’t no use at all
But I used to be free

We’re gonna separate ourselves tonight
We’re always running scared but holding knives
But there’s a black chandelier
It’s casting shadows and lies

[Continues]

New Year’s Resolution Accountability

So, a few days ago I posted a snapshot of the intro to my New Year’s Resolutions – which I had handwritten in my journal – to Facebook. Photo below. Excuse the handwriting.

ImageOne of my friends called me out on it, writing: “yeah, we want to see the whole thing, and then hold it to you publicly”. Fair enough. So follows my “resolutions” for 2013 – almost in their entirety. Hey, a girl’s allowed one private resolution, right?

  • To write more. Blog more. Journal more. More poetry, more creative writing.¬†
  • To stick to my current work-out routine – with a little extra, if I can fit it in. This will include signing up for trail runs, doing more runs on my own and trying to eat more healthily. And working up to using the 16kg as my “normal” kettlebell ūüôā (I’m now on the 12kg – I started with the 8kg!)
  • Save more money. Seriously. The little breathing space a bit of saved-up cash gives you does WONDERS for the stress levels.
  • Work smarter. Clear unwanted emails, write reviews and features on schedule, and¬†turn down additional not-my-job¬†work that can be done by somebody else.
  • Organise more social events. This is a big thing for me, because I’m utterly¬†terrified¬†of rejection. To the point that I don’t even invite my own damn friends around for coffee dates. Time to take charge.¬†In 2012, I went out a bit more – and made some awesome new friends. It’s been fabulous for the soul.¬†
  • Try to relax. I know I suffer from severe stress and anxiety (If I wouldn’t stress myself to death over the cost of therapy, I’d go), so the goal is to learn to try to make some time, every day, to relax. And let things go. Just let things (and people) go.

So that’s it. For this year, at least.¬†

 

 

Hello, 2013.

sxc.hu

sxc.hu

And so it is 2013. The world did not end (told you so) and time marches on, as always, threatening to leave us behind – if we’re not careful.

I took a brief blogging hiatus while I was away – largely because there wasn’t very much to write about. Not anything that would interest you, Dear Readers. Or maybe these things would – my drunk dialling escapades, the current crushing weight of sadness I feel for things that are, things that were – and most importantly, for things that can never be again. It’s all hella depressing, but I’ll get past it. I always do. Sun comes up in the morning, etc.

Right. Not as shiny a start as initially anticipated, but¬†whatevs.¬†Following on the¬†almost¬†success of last year’s New Year’s Resolutions (the drink-less one, for example, only really fell apart in the last part of the year – leading me to do things like wake up in Bergvliet in full-on neon regalia after a 21st and drunk-dial someone) I’ve decided to put down some of my goals/resolutions for this year… But I want to actually think about what I want to achieve first. I have certain (physical) goals that I want to achieve, and certain changes that I would like to make, too.

Basically, I need to do some serious soul-searching – and I have needed to do so for some time now.

Looking back on 2012, it really hasn’t been all bad. Better than the hell-hole that was 2011, at least. Do I have regrets? Of course I do. But there have been some wonderful moments too – I made some serious headway career-wise, although said headway also nearly killed me, and I’m definitely going to have to scale it back a bit (or risk an actual, physical meltdown).¬†I started doing a lot of gymming and things which has apparently had a significant impact. I made some wonderful new friends, too – and trimmed out some old ones. I helped some wonderful people achieve their dream of having a family. And¬†my “relationship” (I’m sorry about the quotation marks, but seriously, I still don’t have a word for it) with J was wonderful while it lasted – even though I definitely could have handled it better. Lessons, however, have been learned – and there are still many more to come, I am sure. Here’s to transformation, here’s to new beginnings, here’s to looking forward.

Home is behind, the world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.