Time marches on without us

Somehow, and I’m not sure how it happened, it’s August. August 2012. We’ve got the London Olympics on all day in the office. The Hobbit is coming out in just a few months. If you’re a crackpot, the world is supposed to end in like, December. Again. This time it’s legit because “The Mayans said so!” (My response, for posterity’s sake: “Fuck off, yeh gullible bastards.” Though I will be the first to accept an “I-told-you-so” if we get invaded by aliens and are all vaporised during the summer holidays.)

The last few weeks – maybe months – have been a crazy, emotional, rollercoaster-style blur. There’s been a lot of bad, a surprising amount of good (I’m still not sharing in case I jinx it. Shuddup, I’m superstitious, so what) and more than my fair share of ugly.

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Love this clock, found it at http://lizzieastlesprocon3.tumblr.com

For – as they say here, though I’m not sure why – “shits and giggles”, I thought I’d look at how my excitedly-made New Year’s Resolutions were going. I laughed, then felt ashamed.

To take more leave during the year. I currently have 23 days owed to me. I only really take leave once a year. It’s surprisingly unhealthy. Especially ’cause most of my days are 12-hours long.

Haha, well, I did take a week sometime in July, and promptly went from 20-odd days owed to having only FIVE owed. I lost all of it. Problem, er, solved? For our financial manager, at least. I guess.

To blog more. I’ve thought about starting a different blog altogether – but the point is I need to write more.

Weeelll… This one’s not going so well. I have already blogged less this year than I had by this time last year. Still time to improve on my 2011 tally, I guess.

To start trying to curb my anxiety and stress. Seriously, I’m one of the most paranoid people that I know. And I’m a hypochondriac. Whether this involves getting professional help (I hope it doesn’t, psychologists are expensive!) or just trying to work through it myself is yet to be decided.

Getting better in some respects, others, not so much. I have been less hypochondriac-y this year, though. I think.

To start saving a little money, every month. Rent is expensive, car repayments are expensive, life insurance, health insurance, internet and phone bills are all expensive… But I need to get into the habit of having a “safety net”.

Oh, how I have failed. Dismally.

Drink only in moderation. So many mornings I’ve woken up this year, positively kicking myself and drowning in self-loathing. I’ve made some awful decisions. The answer here is – enough. No more.

Well, so far this year I’ve only had one night that I’ve made a total tit of myself. And to be fair, it was at Tiger Tiger. It was the first time I had ever been. I needed Dutch courage to get myself through the nightclub doors (it was also a Playboy party) and then once inside, I had a fairly large argument with the Long Island Iced Teas.

To learn to Take More Pride in My Appearance. I say it all in capitals, but really, isn’t it one of those phrases that sounds like it’s being spoken by an adult or an authority figure?

Actually going pretty well, I think. I’ve apparently dropped weight and toned up at gym, now make an effort to not go to work in my most basic clothing and even wear make up more – whenever I see a certain someone, at least. Although, I must admit the flaw in my plan – sleeping over with mascara’ed eyes is not ideal.

And finally, to take it a little easier on myself. Seriously, I’m way hyper-critical.

Perhaps I should just accept this one as a character quirk?

Next year, I think, my resolutions are going to read: “Eat more chocolate, have more bubble baths” etc.

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